A letter just because I'm a coward.

To Ammi and Thaththie,

Thaththie, Did you know that I cannot live a day without you? Did you know that even if I lived I would be empty inside?? like a vaccum has sucked up my heart and left a void within.

Ammi, Do you know that I can't live without you either? Even if I did I would be dying every living moment of it. Like staring at a book but seeing nothing?

Do you both know that I love you more than anything in this world. A lot more than all my books put together.And you know I treasure them a lot.

Do you know that I watch you two work hard just because of us and cry within myself? wishing I was older and wiser with a white collar job? Except that I'm still a student with nothing but expenses to hand over.

Ammi, Do you know that I would refuse to do simple things like doing the laundry, cook and clean the house but I would rip off my heart for you if needed? Do you know that I would die for you?

Thaththie, Even though I do argue at times asking for a freedom you haven't allowed us to witness yet, and even scream and become sullen and grumpy at times, do you know that I regret it later?Thinking how much you love us and how much you want to protect us, like a firece lion protecting it's cubs.

Ammi, Do you know that what you cook is the best food in the world. I'm sorry if I say it's not at times and refuse to eat because you won't get us what we want to eat at the time we want to. I know you do it for our own good Ammi. What idiot doesn't know the fact that home cooked food are the best and the healthiest?

Thaththie, I'm sorry for spoiling trips by saying I can't go. Do you know that even if I wouldn't go on some trip and make a huge fuss just because of some silly reason which is not even worth mentioning here, that I would cross the earth for you? Yes! The whole wide world. Just for you.

I know this little things which I refuse to do would mean a lot to you.And I will TRY to do them. Not because I like to do them. But just for you...because you would like to see us do them.

I'm sorry for everything I've said and done Ammi and Thaththie. And I just want to tell you that I CAN'T and WON'T be able to live without you!!! Because I LOVE YOU more than anything in the world! I know I should say it to your face. but I'm a coward and maybe a coward I will stand.

Maybe, I will show you this to you, ammi and thaththie. If I have the guts enough to do it.

This is yours,

ever-loving-never-changing daughter,

Malsha.

P.s- I love you.

1 April 2011