Another letter FYE only Mr.Destined

Dear Mr. Destined

I just thought it was high time I wrote back to you again after receiving your 10th letter in a row. My sincere apologies for not writing before. You see, I was busy. Busy with stuff. And during the past few months, which I could not write to you, so many things have changed. So many things have changed you wouldn't believe it. It's freaking twenty eleven!!! Yes. It's two- O- one- one and we've got less than two years to live if 2012 is a true whatever.But frankly said I'm not scared.Okay not "not scared" excatly. I'm just a teeny weeny whimsy bit scared because I read my sisters books secretly when I was a kid and I umm..kindda stole some stuff from...from..yeah...that was also from my sisters. I just can't remember if I ever returned them back to them or I can't even remember what I stole in the first place!! Well, you can't technically call it stealing since I was just borrowing them from them and I just forgot to return them. But I'm sure they won't mind. Because if the stuff were not missed then of course they were not important and they sure didnt' miss them.

Okay. Enough about borrowed stuff I never remembered to return. I want to tell you about my new year resolutions.Ah you've always wondered about mine right? And it's like 7 days since new year. We all probably must have broken a few.Or maybe all...

Mr.Destined sometimes in my life I always pause at times and wonder what am I really doing in it. Like you just see a beggar on the street and sometimes your heart turns on and you feel sympathy and all the rest of the stuff you really ought to feel as a normal human being. but sometimes it's so cold you don't feel a damn thing in it. And sometimes when you live in those cold, heartless, emotionless moments the world stops for a second and your brain freezes over and you just think "What the hell am I doing in this world anyway?"  "Why am I here?"  "Is my name Malsha?" "Am I really a twin?" " Do I really have a brother?" I know it sounds insane but I'm sure that the name part is something most of the people have felt. Like when someone calls you by your name, you just feel 'Is my name Malsha?'Weird.Seriously. Okay that wasn't relevant to New Year Resolutions. but, my point was...there are very confusing moments in life but yeah..that totally didn't have anything to do with New Year Resolutions.

So this New Year resolutions I was talkin about?? Remember?? yeah, About them. I made a few. And broke a few. Seven days since new year and I've been making some new ones too.

Resolution Number one which I promised I'm not gonna break is to be kind to everyone.To every single human being on earth. As William Wordsworth said 

"The best portions of a good man's life,

His little, nameless, unremembered acts,

Of kindness and love." 

and as Dalai Lama said

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

My religion is not Kindness but it is part of my religion. But I'm sure Dalai Lama meant it literally. 

Kindness!Kindness!! Pass it on!! 

Easier said than done I know. it's very hard being kind to everyone in this cruelly wicked sociopaths filled world where acts of kindness only leads to desperate calls for umm...I dunno maybe murder?? Okay that was a really wild imagination set loose. I'm pretty sure every kind act won't lead to murder. But there is a possibility of that happening and as a student who is attached to science physically and mentally we cannot-we simply cannot- leave that possibility aside. Okay out of the topic again but what I was trying to say was that I should develop my kindness within my soul and out of it even though it may lead to murder.

(gotta stop thinking about murder).

But I'm serious considering all those crime programmes which airs on TV you simply cannot put aside that gruesome aspect of murder lurking behind the softest little cream top strawberrie act of kindness.

(STOP THINKING ABOUT MURDER!) 

Okay.Okay.

Anyway that was the number one new year resolution Mr. destined. 

Number of times the resolution was broken-10 or more so.

You seee Mr.Destined, it's really really hard to be kind to each and every person on this planet. you Hate a few you like a lot. And you jsut can't be kind to each and every person you meet. After the act of kindness passes you remember your new year resolution and your heart goes "damn! I just mised that opportunity" leaving you guilt stricken. True story.

But I'm trying my best! I'm tryin my best. phew life is hard isn't it?

 Don't get me wrong but having new year resolutions is better than having none. You must have a resolution to break it or keep it. At least I tried. Right Mr.Destined??

Resolution Number Two.-  Serve a smile when there's a frown

Need I say more?An eye for an eye makes the world blind said Gandhi.

The intended line is

"Cummon give your best try douche bag but I'm still smiling at you. Give me that ugly looking evil, slimy frown but I'm still smiling at you radiantly, confidently. Feeling stupid???Back off"

But then I'm sure it will end up like this

"Why you frowning at me you magenta striped chimpanzee??"

Patience conquers victory. Working on it.

Number of times the resolution was broken- Lost count

Resolution Number Three- Have a happy smile always ready when needed

I'm working on it. Being practicing infront of the mirror ever since I made that resolution.(Liar!) That resolution I intend to keep. 

Resolution Number Four-  Get on to your passion more often

Mr.Destined, remember the time when I wrote you this letter saying I love to read books. and I simply cannot live without it? this year I found something interesting about myself. I learned that I still can breathe without books. I still can feel my heart beating and I won't die without books but It's still not the same as breathing with it. Like you still can hold your breath underneath water and still live but it's still not the same as living on land. Like a fish can gulp for air on shore and live for a short time struggling but it still won't be the same as living in the crystal clear blue water breathing in the pure luxury of dissolved Oxygen.

Ah sweet sweet Resolution Number Five- hmmm Should I tell you?

There is definetely somethng fishy about this resolution because I don't understand it either. So I prevail from mentioning it in this letter and I hope the above resolutions suffice to let you know that you are dealing with a higly emotional creature of delicacy and vibrance. Okay not exactly that, but I prefer if you refer to me in that point of view. Just maybe in this letters. For now. Until I meet you at least.

Resolution Number Six- Do not argue with you parents.

Sigh. that's hard. I mean I love them. I love them more than anything in this whole wide world but still this annoying nerve of mine simply won't take 'no' for a simple request like "can I go to that party?". those kind of questions I've learned, gets three kind of answers.

1) Complete silence when your parents go suddenly deaf.

2) A balanced answer which says "will see" which you know that will never cross their eyes to "see" again. 

3) A straight away "no" which obviously leads to some sulking and maybe shoutings.

See Mr. Destined , it's hard living this way. Being independent is bliss. That's the dream.

Time to make this long letter short. Because I need to get do something productive for a while. I need to set my heart upon being the next Arundhathie Roy. Just another dream in the New Year.

Mr. Destined,

so I bid you goodbye 

Let’s part in these Cornwell streets

Thy eyes shineth brighter than it hasth,

Wavering its ductile lights

On behalf of me?

Fine heart, it’s come to an end

We part today in this farewell end.

Thee toucheth my hand and I touch thy’s,

Tip my hat and it all comes to an end.

Remember, solid was our love

Pure, as it should have been.

                           -Malsha Walgamage-

Couldn't resist the urge to be poetic just this once. :)

Hope this new year won't be another New Year where dreams are put off for silly reasons like "I don't feel like it". And I hope I would be able to write to you more often than I do in the present day and than I did in the last year. Wishing you well from my whole heart, giving you all the wishes I've got in the wishing well I've set inside it. It's bottomless so, so many wishes are to be bestowed upon you  Mr. Destined!!

So till we meet again I raise my glass for a toast for your health, loved ones around me and of course mine.

Pen down. Key board off.

Love,

Mal

~

P.s-Nope I was not mistaken. It's FYE not FYI.

      It stands for For Your Eyes 

 7 January 2011